Why You Should Care What Others Think

What do other people hear, see and most importantly feel when they're around you? What do others genuinely think of you?

This week I had the opportunity to hang out with some amazing women running their own businesses. It was intriguing to hear them explain how they were feeling on the inside. To hear them talk about their self-perception, who they are, their values and beliefs and the value they give to their clients. As they were talking, it was hard for me not to compare their self-perception to my perception of them from the outside. 

It’s just like the iceberg analogy. There are your internal beliefs and feelings, what's going on under the water that only you really know. Then there's what's above the water - your external presentation. What everyone else can see, often better than you can.  

Now, I’m not backward when it comes to sharing with people what I consider their ‘magic’ to be. I believe that everyone should understand their strengths and talents and have the opportunity to dial them all the way up. However, for most of us, our cognitive blind spot (that part of ourselves that we fail to see due to our own biases) gets in the way of seeing all that we are. We just can’t get a realistic view of what’s on top of the water. 

The American psychologist, Carl Rogers, said that genuine self-awareness can be honed if we take the time to join our own self-awareness (who we think we are) with the perception of what others see in us. In other words, if we join what’s above the water, with what’s below it. The idea that in order to fully understand yourself, you need the perspectives of others. 

This perspective gives you the belief and the mindset to become your ideal self. The very best version of you. That authentic, genuine, confident, unshakeable person - what you see is absolutely and exactly who I am! 

So, how do you do this? You need to genuinely open your heart and mind to receiving feedback from others. You need the confidence to accept their gift of insight. And in fact, seek it out, ask for it! 

So often, when I’m giving positive feedback to others, they get embarrassed, avoid eye contact, lean back and mumble something like ‘I’m not sure about that…..’ or ‘Do you really think so?’ Enough. It’s time to take on the feedback, listen to it and let it sink in, lean into it and let it expand your view of yourself. 

So, take the chance to explore how others really see you and let it give you greater awareness of who you are and who you could become!! 

Midja xx