3 Leadership Lessons Learned from Motherhood
Happy Mothers’ Day! I want to give a big shout out to all the mothers out there and also all the grandmothers, aunties, sisters, girlfriends, all the women who are part of our children’s lives and step in to guide them, influence them and give them love. It takes a tribe, right?
My 3 kids, Tom, Sophie and Jack, made me feel very special yesterday, with flowers, chocolates, beautiful cards with messages from the heart and an interesting breakfast - all the usuals: bacon, eggs, fruit, croissants plus hot chips and spring rolls ‘cooked’ in the microwave. Hmmm…. It’s the thought that counts right?
Today, in honour of Mothers’ Day wanted to share with you, the 3 leadership lessons I’ve learned from motherhood.
Leadership Lesson 1: Simply telling someone what to do doesn’t work
It doesn’t change behaviour at all. When your children are very little, extremely dependant, you think that it’s going to work - command and control parenting. You tell them what to do and because you are in a position of authority as their parent, they will do it. Now you may have some limited success with this type of “leadership” but wait until they hit independence - the teenage years. At this stage, telling them what to do doesn’t work and it doesn’t work as a leader in the workplace either. As a leader, you have to find out what motivates them. What’s going to get them to do it when you’re not around with the big stick. You’ve got to understand their WHY and connect with their work and what you want them to focus on. As a leader, you want heartfelt commitment from your people, not just compliance. You want them to feel connected with their work and understand the bigger picture and the contribution they are making to the organisation. (or in the case of your children, the contribution they are making to the family)
Leadership Lesson 2: Everyone sees the world differently
People do things for their own reasons not for your reasons. (this explains Leadership lesson 1) Even your own children, your flesh and blood - you have birthed them, nurtured them, you have spent every day of their lives interacting with them, and still they see the world differently to how you see it. Sometimes I sit at the dinner table with my three and think to myself ‘Who are you people and where did you come from?’
Now think about what happens in the workplace. As a leader, you are trying to influence people that maybe you’ve just met. You probably know very little about their background, their upbringing and their values, but still you expect them to see the world like you see it. They don’t! And this is actually a great thing. This diversity of viewpoints brings about innovation and creativity. If you embrace these differences as a leader and listen, genuinely listen to understand their point of view, you will be able to achieve so much more than you can by relying just on your own knowledge and experience. This leads me to leadership lesson number 3.
Leadership Lesson 3: You cannot influence without empathy
One of the greatest needs we have as human beings is to feel understood, to feel as though someone ‘gets us’. Our children want to be able to share their ideas, feelings and opinions without fear of being judged. They want to be accepted for who they are. And so do the people we’re leading in the workplace. Once people feel understood, once they have been listened to, they will then be open to listening to us. 'Your ideas, my ideas, our ideas.' It is only from this position of mutual understanding, that we can genuinely inspire, engage and motivate our people.
As mothers and as leaders, we are influencers. We want our children and our people to open their hearts and minds to us. We want them to be feel valued for their unique contribution and we want to create something special together - a shared vision for our family, our team, our organisation.
So, what unique lessons has motherhood taught you? What are you still learning about yourself? How has motherhood changed your leadership style?
Midja x