What to Do When You’re Struggling with a Decision

Have you ever found yourself struggling to make a decision? Maybe you’ve found yourself in a situation where you feel unhappy and unsatisfied, but you're not sure whether to take action or not. You don’t know whether things will get better and whether your feelings will change? You find yourself in limbo. 

I often find this situation comes up with clients when they’re thinking about whether to stay in their current job, or leave. It can be a really tough time, as people struggle with making the ‘right’ decision with no regrets. 

When I find myself or my clients in this situation, I use a technique that I call the ‘Set and Forget’. 

Step 1. 

Evaluate and write down all of your current feelings. How you are feeling about the situation right now, today? Then complete a simple change matrix with four quadrants: the positives and the negatives of making the change and the positives and negatives of things staying the same. Consider the consequences that have the most impact on your personal values and your future goals.

Step 2. 

Physically and emotionally put everything in step 1 away; out of sight and out of mind. Put it away somewhere where you can't see it.

Step 3. 

Set an appropriate date to review the situation and how you're feeling. This might be, depending on the situation, a week, a month, three months or longer. 

Step 4. 

Move forward and live in the present. Just be curious about what happens next. You've put all your thoughts and feelings down, you've evaluated them and you've put them away. So now you can just be. You can keep things light. You know that you don't have to make a decision at this time. There is no pressure. 

Step 5. 

On the nominated date, again, write down your current feelings and evaluate them, and also do another change matrix. Compare where you're at now and make your decision!

If you don't do this ‘set and forget’, you can find yourself in limbo for too long, when the feelings of unhappiness and the pressure of having to make a decision fester inside of you. It can drive you crazy. You're always questioning every little thing and what it means. It makes you feel more confused and anxious.

In my experience, the ‘Set and Forget’ technique will give you the time and space to make considered, conscious decisions about the important things in both your personal and professional life.

Midja x