Two Keys to Speaking with Confidence
My job involves speaking, facilitating and presenting in front of audiences. I love it but I know that there are many people who don’t share my enthusiasm for public speaking. For many people it can be quite terrifying.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the research that concluded that people fear public speaking more than death.* Jerry Seinfeld famously said that, "at a funeral, this means that people would rather be the one in the coffin than the one giving the eulogy.” Yikes.
So, what is it about public speaking that has us so fearful? Firstly, there is the fear of being embarrassed. There is also the fear of being judged by others and being rejected by our peers, our social or professional groups. The fear of being ostracised and left on our own. We all have a strong need to belong and to be accepted and public speaking can threaten this basic need.
However, as a leader, what you say and how you say it, plays a vital role in influencing others. If you can speak with clarity and confidence, you will engage with your people, communicate your message and build a strong connection. So it's important to have confident speaking as a skill in your leadership toolkit.
There's a lot of things I could say about what makes a great speaker and how to speak with confidence. I could talk about preparation, messaging, mindset, stagecraft, voice and structure etc. but today what I want to give you are my two key principles when it comes to confident presenting.
1. Know and love your content and forget about it.
This means that whatever you're speaking about you have to know inside and out and back to front. You have to know your content intimately. Then once you know your content, you can then put it to one side and forget about it. People are often concerned about what’s the next slide in their PowerPoint or what's the next point they have to speak about. They worry about someone interrupting them or asking a question that they won’t be able to answer. All of these fears come from not knowing your content well enough and not being passionate about your subject matter.
2. Know and love yourself and forget about yourself.
You've got to absolutely know who you are - know your magic, your purpose, your values and your expertise. Once you know yourself, you can forget about yourself. Remember it’s about THEM NOT YOU. When you’re speaking, if you’re focussed on yourself, what you look like, what you sound like, what the audience is thinking about you, you’ll lack confidence. You’ll be caught up in your own self-judgement. You must believe in yourself and what you are saying.
These 2 keys to confident speaking will allow you to connect with your audience, be fully present and grow your influence as a leader.
Midja x
*R H Buskin Associate’s American Fears study 1973, Karen Dwyer and Marlina Davidson, University of Nebraska study, 2010.