3 Signs It’s Time to Go
A friend sent me a video recently of a farewell speech by Chris Evans, the famous UK presenter. It was the speech he gave when he was leaving his highly successful BBC radio breakfast show. My friend thought that I would love the video, and he was right. There was one particular thing Chris Evans said that really struck a chord with me and it was this:
"There may not be a right time to go but there may be a wrong time to stay.”
Have you ever felt like that? When you get to that point; it might be in a relationship, a friendship, a marriage or in your job or career; when you feel like, "I don't want to go, but I can't stay."
This is a tough situation to find yourself in. There is a high degree of anxiety and uncertainty. You’re not sure if you should take the leap or not. In the words of the 1970’s/1980’s UK band, The Clash, you keep asking yourself “should I stay or should I go now?”
I certainly asked myself this question over and over again when I farewelled my marriage and also when I left my corporate career as a solicitor. It didn't feel right to go, but it felt wrong to stay.
It often feels wrong to stay because you feel unhappy or unfulfilled. You might be worrying and feeling anxious. You're not sleeping. You feel stuck. You don't feel valued or appreciated in your role or in your relationship, or you feel that you just can't be yourself. These are some of the warning signs; the feelings and emotions, that tell us it's time to go, and we have to make the tough call.
So what steps can you take to help you say goodbye in this type of situation? To help you take the leap?
Think of your life in terms of acts.
Just like a stage production, it's about chunking down your life and realizing that the same act can’t go on forever. That was one act and now it’s time to take your bow as the curtain closes. Time for the next act. See it as an opportunity to explore, open up new possibilities, take a risk and see what else is possible. This is not the end of the show. It's just the end of act one. The research on adult development (Daniel Levinson’s Seasons of Life theory) shows that we move through cycles, periods of stability and then instability and we reset our priorities and needs. You can't assume that what fits now will fit forever, and that's okay.
Deeply connect with what you want to experience next
Ask yourself: What is the ultimate outcome you want from this next act in your life?
Go deep with this. For me, when I started to consider what I wanted next, I brainstormed everything that I wanted to experience and gain from the change but when I went deep, the word that came up for me was "freedom." I wanted freedom in the work that I did, and I wanted freedom in my personal life as well. So, what is it for you? What is the ultimate outcome? What are you running towards?
Take action with your outcome always front of mind.
Doing something is better than doing nothing in most situations. Taking action gives you control. It gives you choices. If you keep your ultimate outcome front of mind, you’ll stay motivated and looking forward, even in those times when you question whether you’ve made the right decision. I've certainly questioned over the last couple of years: "Did I make the right decision? Will this work out for me?" And the one thing I do to continue moving forwards, is to make sure that I keep my ultimate outcome front of mind.
I believe that we all find ourselves facing this situation at some point in our lives; a situation in which we know we can’t stay but it feels impossible to leave. It’s tough and challenging but deep down we know that we must be brave enough to make the change. As I often say, ‘onwards and upwards’ my friend.
Sunshine and Champagne,
Midja x